- My son gets very upset and jealous when his younger sister gets presents on her birthday. How can I make him feel included in his sister's birthday celebrations?
- I want to have a birthday party for my son who is in daycare full time. I'm struggling a bit with the invitations; how many kids should I invite? He'd like to invite some of the kids from daycare, but if I invite some, do I have to invite them all?
- What can I do if we finish all the party activities too fast and there's extra time to kill at the end of the party?
Q: My son gets very upset and jealous when his younger sister gets presents on her birthday. How can I make him feel included in his sister's birthday celebrations?
A: It's sometimes hard for the un-birthday child to be generous when presents and attention are lavished on a sibling. Some children manifest their jealousy by pouting, crying, acting out, or being bossy. Depending on your son's age and temperament, you may try one or more of the following to avoid these reactions:
- If you think that your son simply craves more attention, carve out some special time to talk about how he feels. You may want to talk about his upcoming birthday or look at pictures of his most recent party.
- Instead of having your son attend the party, consider planning a special play date for him, or allow him to invite one good friend to join the party.
- If he's old enough, ask your son to be a special helper, and include him in the planning and activities. If he has a close friend he'd like to invite, they could both act as the older helpers.
- Help your son put away any toys or games that he considers to be off limits to others so that his sister's friends do not aggravate his feelings.
- Assist your son in hosting a pretend birthday party for one of his stuffed animals or pets.
- Children up to age six usually relate to A Birthday for Frances, a book by Russell Hoban in which Frances has to deal with her little sister Gloria's upcoming birthday. This could help prepare your son for his sister's upcoming party.
- If your son will definitely be attending or helping with the party, ensure that he gets a party favor. You may also consider getting a button or shirt that says, "I'm the big brother," or allowing him to choose one new book or small toy which he can unwrap after the party.
Q: I want to have a birthday party for my son who is in daycare full time. I'm struggling a bit with the invitations; how many kids should I invite? He'd like to invite some of the kids from daycare, but if I invite some, do I have to invite them all?
A: A child who attends daycare or preschool is bound to receive party invitations from his or her classmates. When your child's birthday rolls around, do you have to reciprocate? The long answer to this question is that it depends on how much space you have, your budget, the size of the group, and the amount of help you'll have. In addition to these factors, keep in mind that you should not feel like you must invite everyone. Sometimes, a nice gesture on the part of one mom becomes a standard that the rest of the parents feel they have to uphold. By limiting your guest list, you might risk offending a few parents, but most will be very understanding.
While planning, keep in mind that a preschool party will generally include the children, one of their parents, and sometimes younger siblings. So, though it may seem like a small group, you could be entertaining twice the number you invite. If there are 8 or fewer children in the daycare group, then you may want to invite the whole gang. Otherwise, invite the children that your child talks about most often. And, to avoid hurt feelings, mail the invitations rather than handing them out at school.
Q: What can I do if we finish all the party activities too fast and there's extra time to kill at the end of the party?
A: Sometimes you may run out of things to do at the party, even when you thought you had everything planned perfectly from start to finish. With all the excitement in the atmosphere, it can be difficult to pace your games and activities to meet your time restraints. If you find yourself with extra time before your guests' parents arrive to pick them up, try some of these quick-to-incorporate games:- Magazine Scavenger Hunt - For this activity, you'll need scissors and old magazines. To get started, divide the children into teams. Hand each of the teams a stack of old magazines, scissors, and a list of items to find and cut out. Items to find could include pictures of cars, movie stars, sofas, sports figures, pairs of jeans, desserts, bikes, or babies. For a competitive game, make it a timed event.
- Balloon Races - For this game, you will need one inflated balloon per participant. Have the players run from one line to another while holding balloons between their knees. The first to cross the finish line without popping his or her balloon wins.
- Relay Races - For this game, you'll need one spoon and one object (e.g. an egg, grape, or small ball) per team. Have the teams line up in single-file lines along the starting line. Have the first person in each line hold a spoon with the object balanced on it. Each starting player should run to the goal line, turn, run back to the start line, and hand the spoon to the next player. If a player drops the object, he or she must stop and recover it before continuing. The first team to complete the race wins.
- Touchy Feely - The object of this game is to guess the names of objects using only the sense of touch. You'll need paper bags, a marker, a pen, paper, and a variety of objects. Items can include an orange, mushrooms, a ball, a dry sponge, a toothbrush, a comb, a bone, a block, Play-Doh, or other things with interesting textures. Place each object in a separate bag. Number the bags with a marker. Have participants take turns placing their hands in the bags and guessing the objects. On a piece of paper, record each person's guess for each numbered bag. Award a prize to the child or children with the highest number of correct guesses.
- Snorting or Funny Face Contest - In this activity, guests take turns standing in front of the group and making a snorting noise or a funny face. Award prizes for the funniest, silliest, loudest, scariest, etc.
- Bubble Contest - Using bottles of bubble solution or packs of bubble gum, you can easily host a "blow the biggest bubble" contest.
- Telephone - Have your guests sit in a circle. One guest must think of a funny message and whisper it to the child to his/her left, and so on around the circle. Have the last child say the amended message out loud. Have each of your guests take turns starting the game with a new message.
- Memory Game - Have your guests sit in a circle or around a table. Start the game by having one person complete the phrase "At a birthday party, I like to…" with anything, such as "…eat cake" or "…open presents." The next person must repeat what the person before them said, AND add a new thing that they like to do at a birthday party. Keep going until the list is too long for a player to remember.
- Cooperative Balloon Toss - For this activity, you'll need pre-filled water balloons and teams of two. This game is played like a traditional egg toss with teams taking one step back after each toss. A team is out when they drop their water balloon. The last team with an intact water balloon wins.
Don't forget about these quick traditional games either:- Duck, Duck, Goose
- Red Light, Green Light
- Freeze Tag
- Capture the Flag
- Dodge Ball
- Simon Says
- Musical Chairs
- Limbo
- Hot Potato
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